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But, first I would like to go into some more detail about this When parents should let their children tantrum in public post and the circumstance that brought me to that conclusion.

At the swap meet, there was a particular stall where the salesman worked on selling his products (toys) to the children. A few other stalls picked up on his technique. As you may have inferred he suspected that if the children really wanted something they would make their parents buy the item for them. And while the parents shop they often let their children look at other stalls. If you went to the side and watched him he really worked at getting the children to want the item then told them to tell their parents, tantrum after tantrum took place, not all parents purchased the item but enough that he continued with his slick sales to children while their parents were looking at nearby stalls.

Ok, that is what got me thinking about this whole concept of never allowing a tantrum in public. BTW it was not me that noticed his technique, I was with another parent who pointed it out to me; that parent let his children have a tantrum in front of the sale person more than once, on the third trip the salesman recognized the child that would be allowed to yell and not buy anything and left him alone.

After thinking about it, there are stores who display products for children, and I will pick on 7-11; because me and my children have an understanding about that store, which is: no stuff animals or overpriced toys, anything purchased their is for immediate use if we need milk for tomorrow something for tomorrow lunch etc no … we have plenty of time to get to a grocery store by tomorrow, we are in a convenience store only to save time.

Liars who promise things to your children, make them earn it, and cheat the kids out of it. Ok this happens way to much, it turned into a problem (made me sensitive too it) when people in the extended family did it; then to make matters worse (for me not the children as when I became aware of the problem I took steps to solve it) they told the children to have their dad buy it. So having it promised, having earned it, being told the only chance to get it is when your dad takes you to the store … needless to say they felt if they were not going to get it with me, then and there, they were never going to get it; ya she acted up, did not get it, learned that some people are liars (which I have never done), and that if they act up with me we leave the store and get nothing, reality.

I said this happens way to much … Some trivial matter that Natalie had to do but had reasons not to want to do and she verbalized it at a neighboring apartment building were one of her friends lives. Noticing Natalie not doing what she was asked appeared to try to help and said “Do what your dad says and I will buy you and Ice cream.” I ignored the comment of the older sister of my daughter playmate, after Natalie verbalized, I told her she had to and we did what we had to. The offer to buy ice cream was a lie.

The evil in me wanted to next time ice cream was being purchased tell her playmate that his sister promised Natalie one and you can have the one that was promised to Natalie. I say the evil in me because the circumstance clearly suggests that his sister thought she was doing a helpful, good and correct thing. It was done in confidence like she knew how to deal with younger children; It was done as confidently as she would of said 2 plus 2 equals 4. Makes me wonder if Natalie’s playmate has any confidence in what grown up say. Ya it would be evil of me to Deny him an ice cream because those around him have no clue, if anything he suffers the most.

Not to seem hypocritical but just because a child acts out you can not read much into the situation; I can read plenty into the neighbors comment because of how it was said and as it turns out was in fact a lie. But if say a child acts out not wanting to go to school what can you really determine other than what is clear the child has a issue with going to school he can not handle. If you disagree Please read this post. Ya that child is going to have an issue, How does a 5 year old reconcile the need to do what authorizes tell him while he knows in his being that authorities do not always do what is right.

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This entry was posted on Friday, May 30th, 2008 at 7:25 pm and is filed under 2008, Watercooler. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.