When parents should let their children tantrum in public.
Posted by: Wayne in WatercoolerGenerally, as a parent, I respect other people and expect my children to as well. I don’t normally consider tantrums as acceptable behavior. However, the reality of the world is that non-parents often interfere with parents raising their children.
Kid Haters and Back Seat Parents has some etiquette suggestions for these people.
We as parents know that what is needed to correct bad behavior is to insure that the outcome of the behavior is not rewarding.
The situation I would like to point out is when somebody tries to sell something to the child in the hopes that the child will extort the parent to buy the item. While the child needs to learn that a tantrum does not work in getting what they want the sales person also needs to learn this … the solution to this is a direct confrontation with the salesman. “Why did you make the child cry! Do you like crying children! Are you going to give it to him for free now!” deal with the tantrum at the spot, don’t buy the product, and let both the salesperson and the child learn what is unacceptable behavior.
Store owners, if you don’t like kids in line asking parents to buy candy 1000 times put the candy at a level the adults can see them, not the kids (adults don’t like to bend down to buy candy). Other customers in line, realize that the store has deliberately placed the candy at eye level so the kids will ask for candy 1000 times, if you don’t like to hear it go to a store that is not setup to provoke kids … if you think about it, some stores always have kids crying while others don’t.
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May 29th, 2008 at 6:02 pm
Thanks for posting on my blog
I guess I have never had the situation where my child throws a tantrum because a salesperson targeted them. And my kids know better than to ask for ANYthing in the store. That is one of the rules of going to the store: No asking for stuff. I am mean that way
I do agree with the article you linked to, in that interfering people are difficult to deal with, and parenting is hard enough without people getting in your business! But I try to give them the benefit of the doubt, like they are just trying to help in their own way.
I disagree that a child should get away with acting out in public and everyone should have to just accept that they are children and children just act that way sometimes. If my child does something, even accidentally, to annoy someone in public (like kicking sand on their blanket at the beach, for instance, which must have been cited in the other article), they will apologize to that person and let them know it was accidental. Because they need to learn how to get along with the people around them, even if the people around them are grown ups.
May 30th, 2008 at 7:27 am
going out and spending time in public is a privilege as well as a necessity to meet the needs of life. Occasionally a reminder of who is in charge is necessary too.
We can’t afford everything in the store so let’s teach our kids to accept limits as well.
I have three and they know not to ask more then once. I will allow them to make purchasing decisions for the family on occasion. They need to learn to be contributors to both the family and society. Allowing them to pick a meal and then go to the store with you and get the goods is an excellent way to teach them purpose and responsibility when shopping. Take your kids with you and give them a calculator the one who gets the same total as the checkout clerk gets a treat. Don’t loose a good opportunity to teach and reward.
May 30th, 2008 at 7:25 pm
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